I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
i now understand why vodka
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
