You just made me feel so damn special
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm always down for nudity.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
