When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
