dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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