Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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