Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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