I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I think i got beer on your cat.
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