normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
