The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
