I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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