I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
