He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
