My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
