I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
