We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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