Texts From Last Night

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  (417): View more from Missouri

  No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.

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  (417): No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times. http://tfl.nu/xlrm
  Replies (6) Good night (1383) Bad night (495)
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  (323): View more from California

  I totes stole your whore crown.

  (239): View more from Florida

  With great power comes great responsibility.

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  (323): I totes stole your whore crown. (239): With great power comes great responsibility. http://tfl.nu/gvmp
  Replies (57) Good night (6064) Bad night (731)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  There's a dead frog in my kitchen?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"

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  (828): There's a dead frog in my kitchen? (402): Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush. (402): The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all" http://tfl.nu/9htk
  Replies (34) Good night (2139) Bad night (4686)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.

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  (717): Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze. http://tfl.nu/xfyl
  Replies (25) Good night (4602) Bad night (735)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.

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  (573): just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist. http://tfl.nu/hmuv
  Replies (37) Good night (8337) Bad night (1091)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.

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  (765): Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom. http://tfl.nu/gaio
  Replies (32) Good night (3324) Bad night (5878)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.

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  (508): My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life. http://tfl.nu/p0ex
  Replies (16) Good night (5840) Bad night (1551)
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  (661): View more from California

  I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.

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  (661): I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle. http://tfl.nu/l8mr
  Replies (16) Good night (4856) Bad night (1118)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.

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  (972): It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians. http://tfl.nu/8vkd
  Replies (18) Good night (4822) Bad night (1648)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Either way, he made a blog for his cat.

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  (870): Either way, he made a blog for his cat. http://tfl.nu/y9xq
  Replies (4) Good night (1330) Bad night (3486)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.

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  (606): I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket. http://tfl.nu/x07r
  Replies (5) Good night (812) Bad night (1292)
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  (914): View more from New York

  There is an alarming amount of urine in here.

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  (914): There is an alarming amount of urine in here. http://tfl.nu/rii0
  Replies (5) Good night (317) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR

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  (781): THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR http://tfl.nu/6l4g
  Replies (7) Good night (1823) Bad night (462)
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  (310): View more from California

  Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?

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  (310): Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year? http://tfl.nu/vjf5
  Replies (3) Good night (722) Bad night (394)
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  (619): View more from California

  I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.

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  (619): I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday. http://tfl.nu/3yb4
  Replies (3) Good night (311) Bad night (190)

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