Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.

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  (416): Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck. http://tfl.nu/lba2
  Replies (16) Good night (7443) Bad night (1285)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex

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  (203): just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex http://tfl.nu/zx0t
  Replies (12) Good night (4718) Bad night (1042)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.

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  (503): He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out. http://tfl.nu/qidl
  Replies (6) Good night (3163) Bad night (1029)
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  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.

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  (340): I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen. http://tfl.nu/cees
  Replies (25) Good night (4099) Bad night (1404)
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  (707): View more from California

  Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis

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  (707): Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis http://tfl.nu/prx7
  Replies (5) Good night (973) Bad night (2829)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.

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  (203): I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed. http://tfl.nu/np6x
  Replies (5) Good night (1900) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.

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  (502): I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon. http://tfl.nu/32fk
  Replies (2) Good night (810) Bad night (726)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them

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  (206): just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them http://tfl.nu/w8ay
  Replies (5) Good night (526) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.

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  (641): I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it. http://tfl.nu/0z7a
  Replies (5) Good night (476) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(

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  (406): I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :( http://tfl.nu/1rqk
  Replies (6) Good night (350) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.

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  (702): Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors. http://tfl.nu/41jv
  Replies (3) Good night (767) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.

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  (307): He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver. http://tfl.nu/9q9z
  Replies (10) Good night (1219) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.

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  (843): We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well. http://tfl.nu/sx92
  Replies (1) Good night (407) Bad night (250)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere

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  (570): I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere http://tfl.nu/2bjh
  Replies (3) Good night (176) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.

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  (307): I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake. http://tfl.nu/jx5x
  Replies (1) Good night (86) Bad night (20)

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