Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW