There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night