Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar