He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table