i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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