Sry I called you an 8
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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