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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  We need to hang out more often

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• (561): View more from Florida

  How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  when i was alone, his dick was there for me...

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (212): View more from New York

  what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us 

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?

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