you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
