he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
