I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
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When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
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i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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