My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
you traded sex for a burrito?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize