sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
