Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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