but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
