Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
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get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
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Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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