i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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