watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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