I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
