My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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