I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
