New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
