whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
