Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
