I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
