he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I have aggressive nipples.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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