i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
