I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
