It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
