Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize