Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
