I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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