Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
