I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
