Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
