Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
