I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
