Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
