I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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