I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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