I can tuck mytits in my pants
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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