i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
