history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
