Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
