the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
