I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
