No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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