How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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