Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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