Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
