ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
