everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You are a genius and a whore.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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