Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
